Getting on a flight from Sin City (Las Vegas) to Washington D.C.
Heavy security, yadda yadda, I'm half way through the check out with the security thugs when I realize that I have a commemorative Chicago Blues railroad spike in my bag. I completely forgot about it. Oh, shit. The thing is hard and heavy and could definitely be used as a weapon. About the size of a lead banana. It was a present (given to me by myself) or better said raided from my dead mom's closet, that I've lugged around for many weeks. They were probably worried that I'd clunk myself in the head with it ...
"Sir, is this your backpack?"
Oh, great.
"Yes," I said. What's that? he asked, pointedly. Oh, that's a railroad spike, I said calmly. A railroad spike. Right. Hmmm. Rather peculiar.
"Do you want to explain to me why you have a railroad spike in your bag?" Do I want to? No. Not really. I noticed that two other security goons had slowly been called in, lingering next to me. 3 goons and a buffoon (me). Like a real terrorist is just gonna carry a RAILROAD SPIKE onto a plane?! Good one! I mumbled something about the railroads being the pillar of our early society (it didn't hit home) yuck yuck. Heavy metal! I'm a Lead Pope with no hope. Then I explained quickly that it was a present (sort of, see above), a favourite of my mom (half true), and that I wanted to show it to my granny in Florida. Now that's true! But actually I'd wanted to ship it off to Europe, and had simply forgotten.
I must admit, a railroad spike is a strange thing to carry onto a plane. Heh heh. But here's the best part: whoever was the Head Meathead In Charge decided that the spike was SIMPLY OK (!) to take on the plane. Yeah, that makes sense. Glad he liked my story, ya know, but now I'm wondering WHY IS IT OK to take a metal railroad spike on an airplane? Do they just make this shit up as they go along? (Answer: Yes, they do.)
Officer 1: "The Spike's ok."
Officer 2: "Yes, I know. The spike's ok."
Officer 3: (on radio) "Spike's ok." (Did they mean me?)
I heard the message go down through the ranks on the swquack box.
Then I just put that big heavy thing in my pocket like it was the most normal thing in the world, and got on the plane. Whatever!
Greetings from Sin City!
Peace. -Todd