Somewhere in Oregon ...
On that dreamy 2 day train up the coast, a beautiful 32 hour ride. Well, she's running late, so more like a 38 special. I'm down in the snack lounge, drinking coffee and making new friends. It's me, a professor from Maine, a couple of old ladies, and their 9 year old kid. Suddenly, as if in an Orwell short story, two guys walk in with long white coats on, and FDA hats ...
Mild shock to all. The 9 year old kid asks innocently, "Who are you guys? What does FDA mean?" Food And Drug Administration, they reply cooly. I should have said right away, "I'll have both!" (Thought of that later ...) What came out of my mouth in a kind of cartoon voice was, "Oh, shit- the White Coats are coming to get us!" To which everybody laughed, and it sort of lightened up the mood. The only way I could address it right at that moment was with humour. The 2 FDA guys laughed, too. But it was, in fact, serious. I mean, in essence the kid was right - who ARE these guys? They looked like the Gestapo, who used to pose as Red Cross Inspectors. I didn't see anyone get ON the train in a white coat (down to their ankles). Did they smuggle them on board in a suitcase?? What were they looking for?
They snooped around for a minute or two. The Head Coat was smiling and chatting (gentleman le Strange) with the old ladies, while jr. Assistant Junior had a deliberate eye on my Hunter S. Thompson book (a generous gift from Kid Santa Barbara a few days ago) and my rugged green backpack. I smiled a cartoon smile, but said to him with wolf eyes that "my song files are in this backpack, Junior, and I WILL rip your head off if need be." After they politely left, the Professor shook his head and said, "First they threw that student off the train and the cops came, (quite disturbing) just because he had a weird hairdoo and was playing the guitar, and now this!" "Yeah," I said, "but he was a bad guitar player ..." Heh heh. They hauled him away. The Professor continued, "What is this country coming to?"
One of the ladies whispered to me that if I would be so kind to explain it to her kid (while she took a break from it all) she would buy me a beer and a sandwich. I agreed. I explained to him (as one would with a child) what the FDA is. I also told him all about Pink Floyd.
So ... what IS this country coming to?
What's going on here? Think.
Peace, -Todd