Hi there. This is the bewitching a-lurement of words that will confince YOU (the perfect roadie, you know who you are) to join us on a tour of Europe in December. Badd-ass, brother. You will be transfixed, you will be amazed (when you look back) that you even THOUGHT about coming, before your firmly said "YES!" The key word here is "firm." Which brings us to your first reason to come: (completely rational) Girls. Yes, there will be sweaty-Betties at your disposal, mambo mamas and horny senoritas! Remember that girl we met on the train last time, who we shall discreetly call, "Fruit Girl?" Oh, yes, this and much more will await you on the sunny frozen shores of Europe. Furthermore, ma man, you told ME that Europe is your dream, (this refers only to YOU, our Roadie-of-Choice, so all other misfit roadies may turn off the computer at this point) so get on it! Why wait? Life's meter's a-tickin' ... Now then ... I could go on and on and probably will and should, but I have to go and play my guitar now, so I'll just rattle off (me head) the short-list of perks/reasons you oughttagotta join us on this Adventure: dancing, new CD's to sell and give away to exotic fans, delicious beer, intellectual discussions far and above the norm of California coffee-house patter, money and train rides, dogs wandering through post offices and restaurants, people smoking EVERYWHERE, flipping the bird to different police in various countries, new friends and sexy undercover endeavors, plus you get to meet all da cool jammin' fellaz from the coolest band (other than The Darkness) in the entire hemisphere !!!!!!! (Also much NUDITY and the possiblility of new outfits.)

Enough of this mumbo-jumbo, just come. Peace. -Todd