For the 2 shy Kings from Maine ...
(And the coloured girls go,"Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!")
Just wanna let you-two know that that amazing evening went exactly as planned. Yes, I knew we would pick up those two hot chololate beauties, just like I knew you would miss yo train. Enjoy! Rejoice! And YOU GUYS made it happen, not me! Even though/as I participated by calling impromptu-imagined people on their shoe (phone-y) on the underground, as they giggled. You did it, guys, respect! What energy ... And to think that you wanted to catch an earlier train, shame! Are you nuts? Heh, heh. Those two dark 'n' lovely ladies were ready to go-go from the very start, and I hope ye boyz made it (somehow) to Switzerland, where you read this in a relatively neutral space - but WHAT A NIGHT! (The dream of most, let's be honest.) They missed their train, too, just to be fair. Ah, brown sugar - how come you taste so good? Looks like I have some new back-up singers, eh? They fell right in with every little ditty I hummed, backed me up doo-wap proud, did you catch that, or what? Hot. And now some thoughts from the Schwarzes Cafe (emphasis!) in Berlin, home of our dark renegade early mourn rampage. That's some sexy breakfast, baby. Oh, and by the way y'all, as the girls left at 8 am, as the construction guys were coming to work, one guy looked up at us and rolled his eyes, and went, "Damn!" Hot stuff. (Send photos, please!) What happened here last night?? Only the silent walls of this hallowed building know (and won't tell) and the secret corriders of my soul. Everyone left, and then I took a cold shower and went to bed. Ahhh. But I must comment on the evening's earlier zany events, such as when Generous Dave bounded up the stairs to the U-bahn with 3 cold beers in his hand, and man, they were delicious! Kudos to you! Felt like the gates of heaven were opening, and that tram was our golden chariot. Or when we asked that guy in his car at 4 am (shortly before we missed the first train) to drive us to the main(e) train station, as we wandered luck-less on down to find a taxi, me asking him politely with perfect (slurred) german and all of us with breath from Hell. And he almost did it!
And in this spirit, I am sure that we can save the world ...
"Had that worked ... you'd be the craziest motherfucker I have ever met." Well, it almost worked and guess what, I already am. (Come on, guys - haven't you ever hitch-hiked before? Heh! OK, 4 am is extreme.) And now for Mikey from Maine, you're great! Those girls wanted you BADD. Oh, yeah. They loved yo ass, "Wiggle to the left, wiggle to the right," they sang. And your curly locks. Your shy-locks were da hit! Remember how they squeezed your bozom with glee? You were so shy, and they kept saying in some forbidden langauge (to american ears), "He's sooo CUTE!" Gee whiz, it started out as just another night at the hostel with Jonas the Great (thank you, too!) inviting me down for a beer to kick it all off, the Seattle Kidd and Doktor Tequila from NYC, that annoying girl from OZ (who Generous Dave may or may not have smooched on the stairs) and it turned into a whole 'nuthah thing completely ... Now I gigglehard as I write this (Brandon in Santa Barbara, are you reading this?) I swear, those fine girls were so toasted by the time the main(e) boys got 'em home (!) that they saw those photos of you and me 'n' the Beatsteaks, and thought that YOU WERE THE GUY FROM MAINE with the curly locks. Yes! "Sooo sweet," they cooed in perfect unison. Hilarious! And I corrected-them-not, gawd that was funny! Mistaken follicles. Now I say just for Brandon, um, "Black Beauty!" Yep, those Hornygorgeous Negroes (man, what a great new song title!) fell in love with you AND Mikey from Maine, simultaneously. Instant. And now I gotta say that if you've read this thus far, then you need to know the truth (about this outrageous night). I'm a rock musician (slightly larger than Robbie Williams, if ya know what I mean) and the young/old me would have porked those yummy girls silly (sorry mom), given 'em what they wanted until they saw every colour of the rainbow, but ... I've had enough meaning-less sex, and Love's where it's at! Yeah, thassright, I've a new honey, (so I just said no) and this means I am gonna BEHAVE ...
And now, one more thing for the two boyz: Mike, you're wonderful, please remember that despite all the euro-headaches there are people in Iraq that would change places in a heart-beat and would WISH upon the stars to have the "problems" we have, such as which train to get on. The point is: Don't worry, man! And for Generous Dave - I say go for it in Switzerland with the girl of your dreams (your words) and don't delay ... and she's not outta your league. Don't say such non-sense, don't even think it - leave that to a lesser man. Remember, you deserve this! Mike said at the end, turning slowly to me as if in a dream, "I will never forget this night as long as I live." Good! Please don't. Me, too, you two. Thanks for listening. Peace. -Todd
Posted by calico at July 16, 2006 08:00 AM