Hanging out with this kid called tha Giant. He got a room, only to turn up completely pissed, and ended up sleeping in the reception area ... um ...
Nice job, Giant!
And then there's the cute girl who got a room in "Room #9," which is also known as the sex room, and she wanted to have "just one drink" with me and the Giant. Yeah, right ... no such thing, sweets. Which of course it wasn't, and she ended up hanging with us 'til the very end o' the night, and showed us her tattoo. Oh, yes. Here's how it happened:
I said, "I've never met you, but I've heard ALL ABOUT you!"
And she said, "I've heard about you, too ... So tell me what you heard about me!"
And I said that I knew that she was the cute girl who lives in Room #9, who's got a boyfriend, but he's not here (she gasped!) and furthermore, I know for a fact, I said, that you have a very hot tattoo just above your ass, which you can almost see (then she really gasped!) but it's hidden under those hot pants. And it was all true! And then upon request, she just bent right around and over and showed us the hot tattoo, that I'd heard and suspected existed ... Ultra-HOT!
The Giant liked that one. It was the first night his under-age ass had ever been in a pub, and I snuck him in, and introduced him to tha world of late-night party madness. Carry on, Large One!
And we proceeded to tease the cute girl from Room #9 about her boyfriend, and then I got a pen and drew an artist's sketch of him, which was brutally (dis) honest and he looked like a hag on crack. And then she said, "Isn't he cute!?" And we all went, "Um ... NO!" And then she grabbed the pen (now it was 2 in tha morn) and drew crazy Richard Simmons pubic hair on her estranged boyfriend's head, to make him "look better ..." Right. And we all got a SERIOUS chuckle outta that one, and someone wrote something next to his curly head about LSD, and it was almost time for me to go to bed, cuz I realized that someone other than me had gone too far. But first, I said to the two remaining girls, who were drunkenly mumbling some kooky non-sense about boys and tha dirty side of life, "Hey ... you two are the hottest and creepiest girls I've ever met!" Another group chuckle. And the girl from Room #9 was wearing a Charlie Brown t-shirt and so she instantly became, "Creepy Brown." And she took it and wore it well.
And we all discussed the film "Gloomy Sunday," which we'd seen that night, and the german girl said that she'd, "Turn lesbian for that actress in the movie." And I said that I would, too. And then someone said: (I think it was Giant)
"Yep ... Todd's got a pussy, too!"
And I said, "Mmmm, hmmm ... that's right, I've got a pussy!"
And the girls found that pretty hot, and we all (quite late now) got into a long and tasty discussion about our pussies. And about 10 minutes later, the guy who'd been silent all night, Mario from Ecuador, piped up unexpectedly,
"Wait a minute ... Todd ... you've got a PUSSY?!"
Fun scenes from California on a hot January night ... Enjoy good friends!
-Todd
Again, ladies (especially) and gentlemen, I give you, Tha Giant!!!!!! A few last comments here on that night. The reason why i was in the reception area of the lobby in the morning was because I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I fell off the stupid bunkbed. Thanks a lot for putting me on the top bunk, guys!!!!!! By the way, it was so funny cuz in the morning the owner woke me up and asked me what I was doiong there, thinking that I was a vagrant or somethin'. He kinda backed off when I told him that i fell off his stupid bunkbed in his hostel and kinda hurt my arm, and that I wouldn't sue if he got my damn deposit back now so I could go eat breakfast. All of this while I was still half-asleep, a little drunk, and starting to get a hungover, at the same time. Moral of the story is: Don't mess with the sleeping Giant.
Posted by: Tha Giant on February 3, 2004 03:23 PMJust some personal comments about that night from none other than tha man himself....GIANT!!!!! Although yes, that was my first time in a pub, it wasn't my first time getting just hammered. On the basis of my experiences with alcohol, I'd give that night on the basis of hammeredness a 6, maybe a 7 if I'm feeling generous. On the whole with the pub, it wasn't really as hard as I thought, but then again I was a foot and a half taller than either of the overage people that I went with. To the sweet german girl that night, we didn't mean to be rude, but sometimes to be noticed, speak up! We won't shoot you down or nothing. To Creepy Brown, sorry, but if he's half as werid as you drew, your boyfriend's a freak, break up with him. And to Mario, great job man! Todd told me what a feat you made a few nights later.
Posted by: Tha Giant on February 2, 2004 08:39 PM