Yeah, I know that yer allwantin' to know ... WHO IS Tony Two-Chains?? Is he a man?? Angel?? Devil?? How did he GET those two chains, anyway ... ?? We always use exactly TWO question marks, every time we use his name, don't we?? These, and many other questions will have to be answered ...
Tony Two Chains is just a lad who, on one particular night not like any other, happened to find himself in tha middle of a pool game. Billiards, if you will ... well, now ... won't you?? Anyway - Tony and this outrageous Irish guy (who shall remain nameless) were both sportin' chains, and decided to havfe a little contest ... The winner would take the other man's Chain. (Editor: In many countries arouhnd tha world, a Chain is a sign of manli-hood, and considerable wealth. Always works with the ladies.) Tony won, hands down. He now had two Chains. The other none. Broken and dejected, the Irish lad sugggested that we all head out and get pissed. Well, we all obliged, and "Tony Two-Chains" was borne. He kept yelling (to the entire pub's delight) "Hey - I'm TONY TWO-CHAINS!" And he was right - and it stuck ...
I just spoke to Tony on tha phone, and he said that sometimes you wanna stay in, but end up going out anyway ... then the MAGIC comes in and sweeps you away ... And he's AVAILABLE, too, ladies!!!!
-Todd
Posted by calico at September 30, 2003 10:34 AM