San Francisco, on a Wednesday night ... OK, that last entry was for all you testosterone metal-boyz and whatnot. This one's for the Ladies !!!
Thassright, I have a brand new tip: the Bitch And Animal show! In case you don't know, they've opened up for Ani DiFranco numerous times, and have a new CD coming out on Righteous Babe Records, Ms. DiFranco's label. Gogitthatshityeahh! I know, I know, some of you are probably thinking, "But Todd ... that band is only for hard-core leather ladies, so what were you doing there," right? Well, some hard-core lesbians invited me, see? Now, I'm not getting all Rob Halford on ya, but let me just say this: I puckered up, opened my heart-chakra, and had a blast! Yep, the dynamic bull-dyke duo put on a rip-roarin' show, full of spacious, audacious punk-flavoured tunes, and the crowd was yelling for more! Speaking of that crowd: I was one of the very few "boys." You know what I mean?? Well, hey guys, thanks for accepting me as I am! Me, burly-man rock singer just struts on in there, and everyone went ahead and welcomed me. OK, so I was surrounded by my three robo-lesbian friends. (At the after-party bar, I told this other dude they were my bodyguards!)
San Francisco, baby! What a town ... hard to describe. If you've ever been there, you know whadda mean. This was a night of Peace, Music, Dissent, Brilliant mindz, and well ... Freedom! (?) Animal, who once got busted on stage in South Carolina for taking off her top, screamed, "We're gonna call this number Operation Free (I) My Rack!" (Audience screaming in approval.) Wow ... For those of you in Hungary or something, "rack" is another term for "hooters" or "mellons." A more PC term would be simply, "boobs." Now then, why can a boy show his nipples in public, but a girl can't? ("Todd Nipple, reporting, thank you.") We've got some twisted laws in this country. I talked to Animal about this, and I even said they oughtta come over to Europe some time. (Are ya with me, girlz?) She said, "Aw yeah, that'd be great. It's so hard to find distribution, etc." And she's right, but she said they had a blast over there once, with Ani. Hey - I embrace the universal soul of man/womankind y'know? Why can't we ALL? Guess this is part of the reason that they call me a Freak. Anyway, now to the most important part: the music.
There they were, two hot, talented gals who met at Juilliard School of Music (pretty serious), popping off songs like, "Pussy Manifesto" and "Best Cock On The Block." (A song about a dildo, you know, eternally hard.) This was creative shit, man. Eclectic music for the healing potion side of the soul ... chix on fire! Surreal jammin', probably not for everyone ... but you never know. You never know, you never know, how many CEO's are dressin' in drag, havin' the occasional closet tryst.
Things are NOT as they seem, my friends!
If you're not in touch with the strange, with subcultures, then you don't know whass goin' on! The world is comprised of all kinds of people, not just the ones on t.v., who influence (yawn) so many people. They all effect each other, not just the spick-and span, the ruling dicks, but the dirty ones, the seedy ones, too. The surly ones, the kinky ones. Like Animal said, "We are the majority!" (whoever that is ...) My friends in Berlin tell me about Nick Nolte (manly-man) sneaking into the KitKat Club, you know what I mean?? And let's face it, do you know how many world leaders (pretend) are actually on crack!? You'd be suprised! Um, not ours, of course ... we fought and WON the War On Drugs, remember? Hats off to the New Power (Underground) Truth Movement! Not available at a (mainstream) theater near you! Sometimes the place that good vibes exist turn out to be exactly where they're not supposed to be. Good show, girlz.
Ended up in some Irish Pub in Berkeley. Jam night, or some shit like that. They asked me to get up and sing, so there I am, crooning some Neil Young tune, with the girl on guitar who just got a sex change in Thailand. (I'm not making this up! How could I??) And they loved it. Yeahh, they done dug it. Guess I had a little Animal in me (whoa!), or was it Bitch?! Grrrrrrr. And now, this is for the cute, dirty blonde with the pony tails, who was watching me sing, flirting without words. Yeahh, the eye contact was there! Yes, I felt it, too. (Your smile got me.) But, sorry ... I had to go ... with my girlz. (The lesbians.) -Todd
Posted by calico at May 08, 2003 08:44 PM